Dear Elysia,
Well, today is Friday, the 30th of January..do you know what that means?? We're just a week away from the big day!!!!! I had my last doctor's appointment yesterday and I realized that the next time I would see you would be in real life...that I would get to hold you and gaze at your beautiful face instead of just dreaming up what you would look like and feel like!!!! It is so surreal that this is all going to be real finally! It feels like I've been pregnant with you forever and with taking care of Ayden the whole time and being so busy with that, it's flown by and dragged by at the same time!
I'm 38 weeks pregnant with you now. You've made it 2 weeks longer than your sister did! It's crazy that already you're making sure we know that you're different from Ayden ;) It's kinda nice to know that my body can handle a bigger baby, that I can keep you in as long as you need. My doctor did say that you are a little smaller than Ayden but now that you've made it longer than she did, you're going to be a little bigger than she was when she came into the world. She was 6 and a half pounds and you're at about 7 pounds now. If you make it through this next week, you'll be about 7 and a half pounds! For me, that seems so big because of how small Ayden was but, you're gonna be a tiny little thing just like she was :) I keep trying to remember what it was like having such a little person to take care of...a little body that could fit in the crook of one arm so easily...little tiny hands that could barely wrap around one of my fingers :) I can't wait to see you! Talking about it is making it even harder haha I was looking at pictures of breech baby positions and stuff and then it started bringing up pictures of babies born at 38 weeks and they were all so cute and little and it got me very anxious to have you in my arms already! But, if I've made it this far..I can make it another week, right?? Yeah..that's the spirit!
I'm dying here sweetie haha it's crazy how long the last month of a pregnancy feels! Like, I just looked back and I remember when we set up the C-Section date that marked 3 weeks until we would meet you! Now, those 2 weeks dragged but looking back it seems to have almost (not quite, but almost) flown by! I'm preparing as much as possible, I mean as much as I can prepare. I know that I can't really prepare myself mentally for what it's going to be like having both you and your sister to take care of. There's no telling the challenges we'll face because even in talking to friends and peers, their situation is different than ours. Everyone goes through different things and I am just expecting to feel a little overwhelmed and most likely unsure of myself. All I know is that I can only do my best and we'll get through it! I have hopes for having an easier time with breastfeeding and I'm excited to have the baby wrap I made to carry you around in and I hope you and your sister will get along way well and that we'll be able to work ourselves into a good groove together :) It's gonna take some time to get the hang of things so, hopefully you guys will forgive your mom and dad if we get a little frazzled and irritable..I hope to be able to keep the mindset of just making the most of our moments together and working things out the best that I can! Things won't be perfect and I get the feeling that it's going to be pretty rough for a while but, man! I can't wait to start this new adventure with you, come what may!! :)
I'm not a perfect person or mother. I'm telling you that right now so, don't go expecting too much out of me ;) But, I will always try my hardest to be the best mom I can be for you and your siblings! I hope you will always know, even when I'm frustrated or exhausted and struggling to get us through the day, that I absolutely and unconditionally love you!! I really do. It's not easy being a mom. Life's not meant to be particularly easy. But, I love love love being your mom! I can already tell you that much, if I knew nothing else, I would know that!
Love, Mommy
Friday, January 30, 2015
Friday, January 16, 2015
Nesting and Prepping
Dear Elysia,
Well, I am 36 weeks pregnant with you now! You've already made it farther than Ayden did, I believe :) She came right around this time. We had an appointment and got to see you yesterday! Well, you were facing away from us so, I couldn't see your adorable little face but, still! I think you're trying to keep it a surprise what you look like ;)
The doctor said you're still breech so, we scheduled the C-Section already for February 6, 2015! That's 3 weeks from today!! :) I can't believe how close it's getting!!! I keep trying to picture what it will be like having 2 little ones and a "little" little one and it's just not an easy thing to imagine! I can hardly even remember when Ayden was tiny like you'll be! You're measuring at almost 6 pounds right now and that is just so small! That would put you at about maybe 7 and a half pounds if you make it to the scheduled date! Still, so tiny!!
I'm "nesting" so badly right now! Every time I get the chance to sit back and relax, I can't seem to help myself from cleaning up a little bit or making some new craft or planning the next craft! I'm already just about done with all of the Valentine's Day crafts (and I did a lot for this one! I think mostly cuz I was so ahead of schedule that I really got into all the cute ideas I kept on seeing)! I'm going to be starting a few St. Patrick's Day and Easter crafts so that we'll still have a few things to put up when those holidays come around. I figure I'll be pretty busy for a few months after having you :) I just washed the newborn clothes so that I can get organizing the dresser for you and Ayden to share! When I went to the store the other day, I found myself getting some big things so that we'd be taken care of for a little while after I have you. I worry about not staying on top of things so I just want to be as ready as possible! Dad's so busy and I don't want to be sending him to the store for a bunch of things that I can get now :) I want to still be able to take care of things when I'm unable to "take care of things" :)
It may sound silly, and I have laughed at myself a few times over it but, I'm even trying to like make sure that I am always showered, with a little makeup on and I'm like clipping my nails and painting them and all these little personal hygiene things so that I'll look decent when I'm in the hospital! With Ayden, I had just taken a bath, had thrown my hair into a untidy braid and I did not have makeup on at all. I mean, come on, I had been stuck on the couch for days in a ton of pain! I was not dressing myself up any of those days. Which was totally fine and honestly, who cares? No one's expecting anyone who just gave birth to look like a model! So yeah, mostly it's so that I'll feel ok. So that I will have as little as possible to worry about and so that as much of my attention as possible can be turned towards you :)
My mom is going to be coming over next Wednesday to help out with whatever I need and I'm contemplating having her help me make a bunch of freezer meals so that daddy and Ayden will still be fed. Well, so that I will be too because, let's be honest, breastfeeding makes you ravenous but, I really wanna still have that part taken care of for my angels! :) I'm also making a baby wrap next Tuesday with my friend Avery so that I can easily carry you around with me and still take care of things around the house! I'm really excited to have that this time around. Your hands are always full as a mom and with one kid, that's not so hard to get around but, with the two of you, I think it'll help a lot to just have you bundled up to me all the time :) I really am getting excited to have that wrap!
Anyways, these are the things your mom is running around trying to take care because she really likes to feel prepared and since there's not much I can really do to prepare myself for having 2 adorable, crazy girls in my life, I'm doing physical things that kind of don't seem relevant but that help me feel a little less up in the air :) The crafting part is just something for me :) It's my thing that I do to unwind and it makes me feel so good about myself and about just life! It's amazing what a little homemade project can do to make you feel like your home is more special or that you can do anything you really want to! The other thing that makes me feel wonderful though is being a mom! I love it! I love spending my whole day with your sweet sister and I love picturing what an amazing thing it will be to have you come and join us so soon!! :) Oh, I'm so excited to meet you, sweet Ellie!!
So, I guess we'll be seeing you in 3 weeks, at most!!!! :D
Love, Mommy
Well, I am 36 weeks pregnant with you now! You've already made it farther than Ayden did, I believe :) She came right around this time. We had an appointment and got to see you yesterday! Well, you were facing away from us so, I couldn't see your adorable little face but, still! I think you're trying to keep it a surprise what you look like ;)
The doctor said you're still breech so, we scheduled the C-Section already for February 6, 2015! That's 3 weeks from today!! :) I can't believe how close it's getting!!! I keep trying to picture what it will be like having 2 little ones and a "little" little one and it's just not an easy thing to imagine! I can hardly even remember when Ayden was tiny like you'll be! You're measuring at almost 6 pounds right now and that is just so small! That would put you at about maybe 7 and a half pounds if you make it to the scheduled date! Still, so tiny!!
I'm "nesting" so badly right now! Every time I get the chance to sit back and relax, I can't seem to help myself from cleaning up a little bit or making some new craft or planning the next craft! I'm already just about done with all of the Valentine's Day crafts (and I did a lot for this one! I think mostly cuz I was so ahead of schedule that I really got into all the cute ideas I kept on seeing)! I'm going to be starting a few St. Patrick's Day and Easter crafts so that we'll still have a few things to put up when those holidays come around. I figure I'll be pretty busy for a few months after having you :) I just washed the newborn clothes so that I can get organizing the dresser for you and Ayden to share! When I went to the store the other day, I found myself getting some big things so that we'd be taken care of for a little while after I have you. I worry about not staying on top of things so I just want to be as ready as possible! Dad's so busy and I don't want to be sending him to the store for a bunch of things that I can get now :) I want to still be able to take care of things when I'm unable to "take care of things" :)
It may sound silly, and I have laughed at myself a few times over it but, I'm even trying to like make sure that I am always showered, with a little makeup on and I'm like clipping my nails and painting them and all these little personal hygiene things so that I'll look decent when I'm in the hospital! With Ayden, I had just taken a bath, had thrown my hair into a untidy braid and I did not have makeup on at all. I mean, come on, I had been stuck on the couch for days in a ton of pain! I was not dressing myself up any of those days. Which was totally fine and honestly, who cares? No one's expecting anyone who just gave birth to look like a model! So yeah, mostly it's so that I'll feel ok. So that I will have as little as possible to worry about and so that as much of my attention as possible can be turned towards you :)
My mom is going to be coming over next Wednesday to help out with whatever I need and I'm contemplating having her help me make a bunch of freezer meals so that daddy and Ayden will still be fed. Well, so that I will be too because, let's be honest, breastfeeding makes you ravenous but, I really wanna still have that part taken care of for my angels! :) I'm also making a baby wrap next Tuesday with my friend Avery so that I can easily carry you around with me and still take care of things around the house! I'm really excited to have that this time around. Your hands are always full as a mom and with one kid, that's not so hard to get around but, with the two of you, I think it'll help a lot to just have you bundled up to me all the time :) I really am getting excited to have that wrap!
Anyways, these are the things your mom is running around trying to take care because she really likes to feel prepared and since there's not much I can really do to prepare myself for having 2 adorable, crazy girls in my life, I'm doing physical things that kind of don't seem relevant but that help me feel a little less up in the air :) The crafting part is just something for me :) It's my thing that I do to unwind and it makes me feel so good about myself and about just life! It's amazing what a little homemade project can do to make you feel like your home is more special or that you can do anything you really want to! The other thing that makes me feel wonderful though is being a mom! I love it! I love spending my whole day with your sweet sister and I love picturing what an amazing thing it will be to have you come and join us so soon!! :) Oh, I'm so excited to meet you, sweet Ellie!!
So, I guess we'll be seeing you in 3 weeks, at most!!!! :D
Love, Mommy
Monday, December 29, 2014
Inside of Me
Dear Elysia,
Hi sweet little girl! I cannot wait to meet you :) I think about you all the time and wanted to write you a little letter before your cooking time is up ;) We've got about a month and a half left! I can't believe how quickly the time has seemed to pass! You'll be here so soon and I hope life here on Earth is everything you thought it would be and more :) I hope that you will know how much your family loves you. You are so special and important and you are SO loved!!
I just thought it would be a nice idea to tell you a few things about your time inside of me. At least, from my perspective :) Hopefully for you it has been nothing but pleasant! For me, it's been mostly pleasant with just a tiny bit of discomfort and unpleasantness. Compared to when I was pregnant with your sister, Ayden, this has been pretty quick and relatively painless! :)
We found out we were pregnant with you on June 20, 2014. A week after that, I was sure I had a miscarriage. I still believe that I did but, since I wasn't examined before it happened, we can't be sure. However, we think that I may have been carrying twins and you were the only one to make it.,it was a hard experience for me and I was very sad for the few weeks that I thought I had lost you. I was eager to try again and get you back because I was sure that maybe there had just been something wrong with the body but that I would get the same baby back once I could get pregnant again. I'm not really sure if that's how it all works but, it helped me get through that time and it's a nice idea.
On July 14, I went in to see my doctor. We had just gotten back from Atkin Reunion and I had been nauseous for a couple of weeks and I just felt bad all-around so I thought maybe I should go in to see if I had gotten some kind of infection. Your dad had left that morning for Scout Camp so, Ayden and I were alone for the week. One of the nurses was nice enough to take your sister so that I could be checked in peace. When my doctor pulled up the ultrasound and told me that I was still pregnant with you...I couldn't believe it! Literally though haha I had to ask her quite a few times if she was sure and if you were really okay and doing fine in there. She said you looked perfect and it was true, you've been perfect all along :) It just figures your dad would be gone for the amazing news! After I finally let myself believe that this was real and you weren't going to be taken from me, all I could feel was blessed beyond any expectation. You're our little miracle, Elysia :) We are so happy to have you as a part of our family!
I was only sick for a little while in the beginning and I threw up a hand full of times. That's different than with Ayden, I was throwing up all the time with her it seemed! But, same as with Ayden, all of the nausea went away as I entered the 2nd trimester and that was nice :) You get the hiccups pretty often, just like your sister! I crave dirt and dust all the time with you!! It's a lot more intense than I remember having with Ayden. Like, the other night, your dad and I watched Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time..."sand" is part of the title and they're located in Persia, a desert-y place! Let's just say..I had a rough time getting through that! So much sand!! All I wanted was to eat it haha it's so funny! I've been tempted many times to get myself some dirt and just have at it but, have yet to give in. I eat ice in its place whenever I can, I like the yummy pellet ice! I need to get myself some to get through this last month or so :)
I'm a lot more tired this time around..I think that has a lot to do with the fact that your sister is a wild one and keeps me on my toes! You both are. You are a crazy active baby! You move around almost constantly it seems. Ayden does too, just on the outside so I have to chase her instead of just dealing with the kicks ;) It doesn't help that I don't really take breaks when I get the chance. There's just so much that needs to be done, or that I want to get done! I've decided to let myself relax a little bit more before you get here though, since I figure I won't get many chances after you're here and I have the two of you little rascals to take care of! :)
My ribs hurt with you. Like, I can't lay on my left side hardly at all. I think it partially has to do with the pleurisy I've been dealing with since I had Ayden but, maybe it's just a symptom of pregnancy because my right ribs hurt fairly often as well. Makes it hard to sleep since sleeping on my back makes it hard to breathe! I'm 33 weeks and 4 days as of today and I feel pretty big and can't believe I still have so much growing to do before you're here! You do too. You're 4 pounds (as of last week's appointment) and my doctor says you're just a little thing. She says you'll probably be about 7 pounds full-term. So, I definitely want to at least keep you inside of me until you gain a little weight. Ayden was ahead on her weight so she was fine to come so early but, I think you need a little more cooking time :) I don't feel like you'll be as early as her.
Oh the things I go through for you kids ;) Don't worry, it's been totally worth it, even now! I've never been upset about the discomfort or pain I've gone through for you or your sister. The way I see it, there's no one I'd rather hurt for :) I love you so much Elysia Lucile! Sometimes I feel a little nervous about how close you and Ayden will be and how hard it will be to have two babies but, I never regret choosing to have you! You came when you were supposed to. I believe that, I really do. We're so excited to meet you and teach you about life and watch you learn and grow :)
I hope there's never a doubt in your mind about the love we all have for you! You're coming into a very excited family! Your grandparents and aunts and uncles are thrilled to have another baby to dote on, your cousins are excited to have another playmate, your sister has no idea what's going on haha (though she will be a great sister to you- you'll see what I mean soon enough.) and your parents couldn't be more happy to have another beautiful little girl to spend their lives taking care of and loving :)
We will see you soon, Ellie! Until then, I'll keep thinking about you, dreaming about you, and taking care of you to the best of my abilities! I love you!
Love, Mommy
Hi sweet little girl! I cannot wait to meet you :) I think about you all the time and wanted to write you a little letter before your cooking time is up ;) We've got about a month and a half left! I can't believe how quickly the time has seemed to pass! You'll be here so soon and I hope life here on Earth is everything you thought it would be and more :) I hope that you will know how much your family loves you. You are so special and important and you are SO loved!!
I just thought it would be a nice idea to tell you a few things about your time inside of me. At least, from my perspective :) Hopefully for you it has been nothing but pleasant! For me, it's been mostly pleasant with just a tiny bit of discomfort and unpleasantness. Compared to when I was pregnant with your sister, Ayden, this has been pretty quick and relatively painless! :)
We found out we were pregnant with you on June 20, 2014. A week after that, I was sure I had a miscarriage. I still believe that I did but, since I wasn't examined before it happened, we can't be sure. However, we think that I may have been carrying twins and you were the only one to make it.,it was a hard experience for me and I was very sad for the few weeks that I thought I had lost you. I was eager to try again and get you back because I was sure that maybe there had just been something wrong with the body but that I would get the same baby back once I could get pregnant again. I'm not really sure if that's how it all works but, it helped me get through that time and it's a nice idea.
On July 14, I went in to see my doctor. We had just gotten back from Atkin Reunion and I had been nauseous for a couple of weeks and I just felt bad all-around so I thought maybe I should go in to see if I had gotten some kind of infection. Your dad had left that morning for Scout Camp so, Ayden and I were alone for the week. One of the nurses was nice enough to take your sister so that I could be checked in peace. When my doctor pulled up the ultrasound and told me that I was still pregnant with you...I couldn't believe it! Literally though haha I had to ask her quite a few times if she was sure and if you were really okay and doing fine in there. She said you looked perfect and it was true, you've been perfect all along :) It just figures your dad would be gone for the amazing news! After I finally let myself believe that this was real and you weren't going to be taken from me, all I could feel was blessed beyond any expectation. You're our little miracle, Elysia :) We are so happy to have you as a part of our family!
I was only sick for a little while in the beginning and I threw up a hand full of times. That's different than with Ayden, I was throwing up all the time with her it seemed! But, same as with Ayden, all of the nausea went away as I entered the 2nd trimester and that was nice :) You get the hiccups pretty often, just like your sister! I crave dirt and dust all the time with you!! It's a lot more intense than I remember having with Ayden. Like, the other night, your dad and I watched Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time..."sand" is part of the title and they're located in Persia, a desert-y place! Let's just say..I had a rough time getting through that! So much sand!! All I wanted was to eat it haha it's so funny! I've been tempted many times to get myself some dirt and just have at it but, have yet to give in. I eat ice in its place whenever I can, I like the yummy pellet ice! I need to get myself some to get through this last month or so :)
I'm a lot more tired this time around..I think that has a lot to do with the fact that your sister is a wild one and keeps me on my toes! You both are. You are a crazy active baby! You move around almost constantly it seems. Ayden does too, just on the outside so I have to chase her instead of just dealing with the kicks ;) It doesn't help that I don't really take breaks when I get the chance. There's just so much that needs to be done, or that I want to get done! I've decided to let myself relax a little bit more before you get here though, since I figure I won't get many chances after you're here and I have the two of you little rascals to take care of! :)
My ribs hurt with you. Like, I can't lay on my left side hardly at all. I think it partially has to do with the pleurisy I've been dealing with since I had Ayden but, maybe it's just a symptom of pregnancy because my right ribs hurt fairly often as well. Makes it hard to sleep since sleeping on my back makes it hard to breathe! I'm 33 weeks and 4 days as of today and I feel pretty big and can't believe I still have so much growing to do before you're here! You do too. You're 4 pounds (as of last week's appointment) and my doctor says you're just a little thing. She says you'll probably be about 7 pounds full-term. So, I definitely want to at least keep you inside of me until you gain a little weight. Ayden was ahead on her weight so she was fine to come so early but, I think you need a little more cooking time :) I don't feel like you'll be as early as her.
Oh the things I go through for you kids ;) Don't worry, it's been totally worth it, even now! I've never been upset about the discomfort or pain I've gone through for you or your sister. The way I see it, there's no one I'd rather hurt for :) I love you so much Elysia Lucile! Sometimes I feel a little nervous about how close you and Ayden will be and how hard it will be to have two babies but, I never regret choosing to have you! You came when you were supposed to. I believe that, I really do. We're so excited to meet you and teach you about life and watch you learn and grow :)
I hope there's never a doubt in your mind about the love we all have for you! You're coming into a very excited family! Your grandparents and aunts and uncles are thrilled to have another baby to dote on, your cousins are excited to have another playmate, your sister has no idea what's going on haha (though she will be a great sister to you- you'll see what I mean soon enough.) and your parents couldn't be more happy to have another beautiful little girl to spend their lives taking care of and loving :)
We will see you soon, Ellie! Until then, I'll keep thinking about you, dreaming about you, and taking care of you to the best of my abilities! I love you!
Love, Mommy
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